,

Outback Steakhouse Piles Sirloin Steak and Bacon Cheese Fries On Top of a Bloomin’ Onion

Chain honors “March Madness” by trying to murder you.

Has it been a while since a bout of fiery nighttime heartburn has woken you from a fitful, nightmare-fueled sleep, and forced you downstairs to chug a tepid glass of warm tap water mixed with baking soda at 3AM, in a futile effort to quell the horrific burning sensation burbling up in your esophagus?

Outback Steakhouse has got you covered, with the new “3-Point Bloomin’ Onion.” Via a representative from Outback:

Just in time for March Madness, Outback has created the 3-Point Bloomin’ Onion: Outback’s Signature Bloomin’ Onion topped with Loaded Aussie Cheese Fries (fries with melted Monterey Jack and Cheddar, and chopped bacon) and bites of juicy, seasoned center-cut sirloin steak.

Though nobody really knows what March Madness is, the $12.99 tie-in does limit the promotion to March 15th through April 4th, at participating Outback locations. Our best guess is that at over 3,080 calories for a “3-Point Bloomin’ Onion,” the new limited time appetizer offering contains enough salt, fat and calories to kill an entire professional basketball team.

 

Written by Malcolm Bedell

Malcolm is the author of "Eating in Maine: At Home, On the Town, and On the Road," as well as a frequent contributor to Serious Eats, Down East Magazine, The L.A. Weekly, The Guardian, The Huffington Post, and more. When not poisoning his body with garbage and then posting sardonic commentary about it on the Internet, he also owns and operates the 'Wich, Please food truck, named Eater.com's "Hottest Restaurant in Maine" for 2015.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *