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Hot Liquefied Twinkies Are Coming to a Gas Station Near You

Partnership with Kerry Convenience could bring Twinkie Cappuccino to your neighborhood.

Are we the only ones out there that sometimes enjoy one of the ultra-synthetic, 100% unnatural, chemical stew “cappuccinos” that come out of those machines at the gas station? Ridiculously sweet, highly caffeinated, and with enough flavoring to nearly permanently scorch the back of your throat with artificial “Creme Brûlée” extract, an eight ounce cup of fake coffee always fondly reminds us a simpler coffee-drinking culture.

And now, thanks to a partnership with Kerry Convenience, a key supplier to the convenience store segment, Hostess is doing pretend cappuccino cancer milk one better: They’re making it Twinkie flavored. Ellen Copaken, vice-president of marketing at Hostess Brands, explains:

“The Twinkie cappuccino not only provides consumers with another option when selecting a treat, it combines two of their favorites into one decadent indulgence.”

The new cappuccino beverage features a combination of milk, sponge cake flavor and presumably, at least a little bit of coffee flavoring. The cappuccino is available at Northeastern “Sheetz” stores, though if you’re in a convenience store in the middle of the night trying in vain to recreate the fleeting feeling of your mother’s touch on your tearstained cheek by drinking cake-flavored hot coffee goop from a faceless machine in some OTHER part of the country, a nationwide rollout is expected in the coming weeks.

Written by Malcolm Bedell

Malcolm is the author of “Eating in Maine: At Home, On the Town, and On the Road,” as well as a frequent contributor to Serious Eats, Down East Magazine, The L.A. Weekly, The Guardian, The Huffington Post, and more. When not poisoning his body with garbage and then posting sardonic commentary about it on the Internet, he also owns and operates the ‘Wich, Please food truck, named Eater.com’s “Hottest Restaurant in Maine” for 2015.

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