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Dunkin’ Donuts Reveals New Donuts for Valentine’s Day

Chain unveils saddest possible tie-in for emotional eating.

February is right around the corner, and Dunkin’ Donuts has stepped in to offer the last ingredient needed to complete the world’s loneliest Valentine’s Day: Heart-shaped donuts perfect for eating alone in your car, or collapsed on your sofa late at night with all of the lights turned off.

The two new donuts come in two varieties: Chocolate Covered Raspberry Heart and Brownie Batter Crumble Heart.

The Dunkin’ Donuts Chocolate Covered Raspberry Heart is a heart-shaped donut with raspberry filling, frosted with chocolate icing and drizzled with strawberry-flavored icing. The Brownie Batter Crumble Heart is stuffed to overflowing with brownie batter-flavored buttercream filling, is frosted with chocolate icing, and drizzled with strawberry-flavored icing.

It should go without saying that presenting a loved one with heart-shaped donuts in lieu of flowers or gifts will possibly result in the end of your relationship, but realistically, if you’re eating these, you’re probably unlovable in the first place.

Written by Malcolm Bedell

Malcolm is the author of "Eating in Maine: At Home, On the Town, and On the Road," as well as a frequent contributor to Serious Eats, Down East Magazine, The L.A. Weekly, The Guardian, The Huffington Post, and more. When not poisoning his body with garbage and then posting sardonic commentary about it on the Internet, he also owns and operates the 'Wich, Please food truck, named Eater.com's "Hottest Restaurant in Maine" for 2015.

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