"It requires a certain kind of mind to see beauty in a hamburger bun."
"I was always a junk food person. Still am."
"Has your mother ever made anything as good as a McDonald’s french fry?"
"If I'm going to eat fast food, I'm going to McDonald's. I don't need to pretend."
"Now you've gone too far. And no, I don't think you're particularly funny or better than everybody else, either. Sorry. (Not sorry.)"
"I'm too drunk, to taste this chicken."
“He settles back with a small handful of cashews; dry-roasted, they have a little acid sting to them, the tang of poison that he likes.”
"I don't eat fast food often, but I love tacos. I could write prophetically about how perfect the taco is."